11/01/2005

woke up at abt 2 plus today...actually wana sleep a while mor de...budden got woken up by my pri sch fren...recently all hauntin me...all wan me go to e gatherin...i mean dey wan evryone to go ma...den me n a few don wan....dey go overseas...den i stil in spore but don wan go....cos dey go ice skatin n i dunno how to...scared later fall den very pai seh de...hahax...but dey say nvm cos alot of dem oso dunno how...hahax....tink maybe i'll go la...i dunno la....mingyi say she got bball trainin till 1+....den we all is meetin at 11.30 at de jurong mrt ma...den she say liddat we go watch movie first den after her trainin she come meet us den go ice skate...budden liddat arhx...i tink i don wan go watch movie le...cos later ruru n angela lik always together de lor...dey 2 closer ma...me n mingyi closer ma...den randal n albert will keep playin den very noisy de...bharath wit ben....darren n barry...aiyo dunno la...manii pairs in our class de...hahax...n me n mingyi is a pair...haiz....still got others la...lik eve n kim n titus...dunno la...see first la...tonight den say la... haiz...so troublesome...y muz haf wat gatherin...aiyo...no nid call whole class de ma...don wana see de guys sia...darren n barry n jie kai...haiz....later keep teasin de....haiz....dunno la...so fan arh!!!haiz...den now my fuckin mum...wan me go my dad shop to help...keep scoldin...she's such a biased freako sia...bryant told me to tolerate...but i cant lor....8 yrs le....since my younger bro born it's been 8 yrs i've tolerated.....haiz...cant stand it...he can come n beat me for all i wan n my mum wont care...n if i were to touch him a bit...not even hitting him....jus accidentally touch, he wud go tell my mum tat i hit him n my mum wud believe him den she wud come n gimme a big scoldin...n when i say she's a biased freak she still wana deny...haiz....even my gr ma say tat she is a biased mother....my gr ma saw tat i neva even hit him,n he tels my mum i hit him,n i get scolded...den my gr ma wud scold her...say tat she cannot be liddat...all those things...but she doesnt even listen to her mother!!!omg...den wat right has she got to ask me to listen to her cos she my mum????haiz...de world is neva fair...but y izzit always on me???haiz...dunno la....god wants to play tis game wit me...n one day i wud stop game by either killin myslef or killn my bro!!!i will...if i cant stop tis game den i wud pause it...by leavin hm...to sleep on de streets maybe...at least sleepin on streets dere wont be an evil bro doin cunnin things to land me in de evil hands of a biased mum!!!at least for tat moment my mum wud get worried for me!at least for tat moment my mum wud wan me to be at hm...haiz....dunno la.....haiz....cant care animor... nex tym when my mum nids ani help i wont do anithing animor....lik when it rains n she wants to keep de clothes fast i'd jus sit dere n watch...not lik now,stoopidly help her n rite after tat she wud say tat onli my younger bro is de one whose always helpin her (when he doesnt even!don believe u may ask my gr ma) n i'm de one whose always lazin ard doin nth....i fold my own clothes ok!n my bro?sit dere n watch tv n play de comp!or jus sit on his bed n lauf at me for havin to fold my own clothes!haiz....i hate de both of dem...i hate dem....u all will neva know my feelings...when i was writin de compo durin de exams....de person i respected most....i wrote my mum...but she isnt at all!!i was hopin tat she wud be while i was writin...n when i go hm she'd start scoldin...totally de opp of wat i wrote!!!nth is similar to wat i wrote as a very gd mum who cares abt me DE MOST!!!!haiz.....feel so sad to hav tis bro....i always wanted a younger bro or sis last tym for me to take care of....but now i really regret sayin al those things...i tink it's cos god heard wat i was thinkin n really gave me one....a very bad one instead of de gd ones i tot i wud hav!!!!haiz....=(

the princess left at
6:36 PM